Book Doula

A lesson in onwardness

Recently a dear friend texted that she was halfway though a book I recommended to her and that she loved it. In fact, she said “DAMNIT IT IS SO GOOD!” My heart immediately expanded. It’s a special kind of joy that comes with hearing that and I can’t quite figure out why. I didn’t write the book (Madeline Miller did that). I had nothing to do with its creation, publication, or distribution. In fact I was a little late to reading Circe (relative to those with a finger on the pulse of contemporary literature). And yet, I was so happy to know that my friend was finding joy in the same thing that also gave joy to me.

Perhaps that’s it.

Maybe it’s the catharsis that comes with a shared mutual love. Like relishing a decadent 4-course meal with friends or geeking out over CrossFit with someone who just started or creating something with other artists that previously didn’t exist (*like a TV show*). Or maybe the joy is as simple as a job well done, a successful transaction. In any case, I told my friend how happy it made me and offered a few more recommendations.

She called me her “book doula.” I was tickled then and I’m still tickled. What a delicious turn of a phrase - Book Doula. If I am her book doula, a moniker I honorably wear, it’s only the result of having a few book doulas of my own. Partaking in a bookclub with some serious (I mean seriously serious) readers has basically tapped me into a tribe of book doulas. That’s actually how Circe got on my radar in the first place.

Hearing the term got me thinking of all the other doulas in my life. I have a music doula who will randomly text me songs he’s obsessing over. I have a tv doula who will basically strap me to a chair if I don’t immediately watch what she recommends. I have some theatre doulas and restaurant doulas, skin care doulas and recipe doulas. It’s a web of connections where mutual joy is shared and received over and over and over again.

It makes me think about the nature of joy. In my humble opinion, joy, like all energy, cannot be created or destroyed. It’s simply passed on. It morphs and flows from one person to the next. We don’t experience joy so much as it experiences us before moving onward. It can’t be contained or stored for later. The good news about that is joy has a feedback loop. When it’s passed on, the giver gets a kickback. It is compounding and infinite.

So ask yourself, what joy can I doula onto someone else. What current object of my delight can be passed on to another? I’d like to think if everyone took time to reflect on this, the world might just be a little brighter, a little more harmonious, and, yes, a little more joyful.

ps Speaking of doula-ing some joy, do you enjoy my work? Wanna tell folks about it?